sometimes i want to be in love and sometimes i want to be alone. i dont know what i want right now though. actually. i want to be done with this essay.
alright yall i havent updated this place in a really long time and i think its about time. I dont know how i feel about absolutely anything thats going on in my life right now. literally. i dont understand anything. I have like one real friend here. just one that i know actually gives a care about what i have to say. the other two? i pretty much always question their intentions and if they actually care about what i have to say or if they care about me at all. the thing is that im pretty sure they dont. and its sad but its also really educational. people in the real world are not AT ALL like the amazing friends i was blessed with in highschool. People talk so much crap on each other all the time and its actually shocking. Never in my life have I ever said something bad about the people i consider my best friends. what i dont understand is that they consider us a “group” and were “so close” and yet they still have the audacity to talk about us every time we leave the room. im sorry but thats not friendship. i really shouldve gotten out when i could have. i should have kept hanging out with other people and maybe i would have some real friends right now. but at the same time i know my one friend feels the exact same way about me so… im not in this alone. and i know that things will ultimately be ok but right now its just annoying because i dont know what to do. do i keep investing time in these people who dont care about anything but sometimes do show that they care about us? or do i just give up? is it really going to be worth all this crap that theyre putting us through?
p.s. any advice is appreciated~
ill be updating this more often now that i remembered i have this as an outlet. thanks yall!
Next time I start to develop a crush on someone please just punch me in the face instead
You’re not a cow. This is not cud. We are people and I should not hear you chew from across the room. This has been a psa. Thank you.
i never feel like you want me around.